The balance of Grace

Ok…

So I am listening to Lysa TerKurst and Ann Voskamp talk about their lives.

And Lysa says I get asked this question allot “How do you do your life? with many children, writing, speaking engagements and everything else too, how do you do it? How do you balance it?”

and the interviewer lady said :  Balance isn't real! right?

I listened a little further and I stopped the video and just sat with that thought …..(repeating it to myself  - BALANCE ISN’T REAL …

and at first I am thinking WHAT!!?? wait a minute!!

I need balance….if I don’t balance I will be off over here to long and miss this and that and what about….and all this stuff going off in my head.

and then I hear the Lord say “that is what my grace is for.”

My heart kind of sank …and I started to write this, because I feel that I understand myself and what I am learning better when I write it out.

If God’s grace is for our balance then all my striving to balance home, church, friends, family, laundry and dinner is for nothing!!

But If I am relying on my own strength then NO WONDER I am constantly straining myself to do better, organize, get it right, get it on the calendar. Perfect my inconsistencies and fix my “look” of laziness and craziness.

(Now there is nothing wrong with improving…what I am talking about a need for “balance” called PERFECTIONISM that causes you to think down if your stuff isn't done or will cause you to miss a God Appointment because you need to do that stuff. )

I know I am not the only one here!

The Key is Grace -like the gyroscope…I found this little diagram:

 

(source)

What is the ultimate GRACE --Christ who gave His life for us!

Romans 11:36 For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

If we keep our eyes on CHRIST in the center of it all….

( in the midst of all our mess, and issues, and timetables, and running errands  )

IF we keep our eyes on HIM…WE ARE BALANCED! (can you believe??)

When we Pray to the Father ( Output axis) and love others ( input axis) all while our eyes are fixed on Christ ( Spin Axis)

we walk in HIS WILL!!

How much more balanced could we be than in HIS WILL!!!

If Christ …If Grace is your Axis, MY AXIS - then I can allow myself to be IMPERFECT in His PERFECTNESS…I can allow myself to let go of the need to BALANCE LIFE….and instead LIVE IN GRACE!

I can do His will, as He asks and allow myself grace for the dishes not done because I am walking His way…and not mine.

BTW--  …Lysa said “ I DON’T!!” Balance is a slippery term :0) and Ann said “ Christ is our Axis, he is our balance point! :0)

Amen Girlfriends!

I get it! How do you feel about balance and are you trying to find it?

 

Friendship of Love,

Starla

Truth

Truth always wins. Doing right is never wrong. Being honest and trustworthy is the way to live. Perhaps a slight twist of the facts might bring a short term gain. A little misrepresentation might bring some short term satisfaction. But in the end truth always wins, so live like a winner.

Letting The Truth Unfold

The truth always unfolds into a deeper understanding.

Just to make sure that we know that we know what we know.  Everything we trust and think we believe while being tested will prove what is so.  When we are solid and sure, fear and doubt have no place in us.

Sometimes we think we got it all together and figured out.  Then unexpected surprises come.

Where is our trust level when that happens? 

Be honest and devoted to the truth. That will tell you how prepared you are to accept it or deny it.   

Today I will walk through this journey called life with strong ankle bones, armed with the truth to prove itself no matter what trial I may walk through.

One step at a time and one day at a time.  We are all human and fall short.  But that does not mean that we are not conquers of the Truth that will set us free indeed.  Amen!  We are ok and on our way! 

God Bless and have a Blessed week my friends!

Its all in the Perspective

PERSPECTIVE

It is a way of regarding situations or facts. It is also the appearance from a certain angle or view. I would say it is safe to say that perspective is HOW we see through our LENSES in life. (Our Viewpoint)

In relationships the perspective can be particularly muddy. Each of us has our own set of  " Glasses" that have been colored by our experiences, learning, and family life. This difference in --seeing-- makes it difficult to relate at times especially if we insist on our own viewpoint as being RIGHT!

I was reading (in one of the many books that I am in right now) and it brought up this scenario of 5 people on the top of a mountain top. Each holding a camera and taking pictures. Can any one of them say for a certainty that they are capturing the view truthfully. Imagine what would happen...

One longing to be free from the pain of her past has always thought of flying away and so she captures the sky in great detail, the sun on the horizon, the clouds, and eagle flying by. To her it is breath taking and amazing....and yet it is only her perspective of TRUTH.

To another it has been a climb to rise to the top of the business world and the climb up the mountain felt like a representation of his life and so he captures the mountains and how they jut into the sky in towering magnificence....and yet it is only his perspective of TRUTH.

To another life is a battle where the person running this race of life is battered and bruised and so they capture the mountain goats as they beat their horns together for dominance...and yet it is only their perspective of TRUTH.

and so on...

See we all use our experiences to bring FOCUS to what we see. We become alert to certain things that relate to our situations and that are reminders of our experiences. So certain tones of voice alert our ears to be afraid when no one is intending harm. So they way some one reacts to us may queue us in that we are about to be rejected and before we know it we are the rejecter.

The KEY is to remember that not everyone THINKS like me ...and ask questions instead of assuming!!

I very well could be possible that we would remove a TON of misunderstandings, mishaps, and hurt if we did.

After all -- ITS ALL IN THE PERSPECTIVE!!

Have a wonderful night

F and L'er

Starla

A LOST CONNECTION

It is hard when you try to communicate with someone and they refuse to hear you.
Telling how you feel is hard enough but then to withstand the initial rejection and not fall into the PITY POT can get hard sometimes.
When you see a loved one behaving badly and it is a perpetual thing....ignoring it is not the answer. !!!
But to speak up risks splintering the relationship that so-called  "playing friendly" has created...but the barbs in your soul are just as painful when you are silent.
The fear that things with never be right...the doubts that scream in your mind -THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE !!!
The guilt when you finally speak because you had been stuffing it so long --you feel like you are to blame, your mind and emotions playing games saying "you could have said something sooner.".."you brought this on yourself."..LIES ...all LIES!!
It comes down to TRUTH!
Are you willing to be honest?
Are you willing to wait out the rough patch while the other person tries with all they have to prove you wrong out of the SCREAMS of their EGO?
Are you willing to pray and read the Word and Stand on it, resting in it?
Are you willing to choose NOT to be easily provoked?
Are you willing?
We say: I will not be walked on any longer!!!
 But if we speak up and confront in Love and Truth ...it may feel like they are still walking on us ( no immediate evidence does that) but really they are just hitting a standing wall. BE patient!! BE resilient!!
When God begins to walk you through a trial...HE CAN BE TRUSTED...!!!! He will make a way...Do not faint or become weary in well doing.
Do not give into the flesh that wants to scream its rights in the face of the perpetrator.
Be at rest....Be calm....Know that God has a plan....He will perform all that He has promised to those who are His!
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Proverbs 29:25
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

Friendships grow in truth and vulnerability

Been noticing as I am surfing the blog world that many people are searching for meaningful friendships. People, women, even pastors wives struggling to just have a friend to talk to ??? That should not be so!! But it is...

I was reading the comments over at Striving for 31 . The post is a question asked by the author for another person which happens to be a pastors wife.

Excerpt: What I am struggling with right now is a lack of close friendships.......I have "friends" in our church, but you and I both know that can be tricky water to navigate. I am part of a home school group here, so I do have that outlet, but as far as a deep, close friendship with another woman here, I just don't have it..... as a ministry family, you are sorta in no man's land.....Anyway, the basic question is how as a ministry wife do you find your "place?" How do you forge those close friendships outside of your church without missing potential close friendships inside the church. Are close friendships in the church even a good idea?


Just reading this breaks my heart.

 I have Felt that way...that I didn't have a Real Friend that I couldn't Be Who I Was...

When I look at this situation I cant help but think PEOPLE have toooooooooooooooo HIGH expectations on their Pastor and his Wife if they feel like they can't be CLOSE FRIENDS with the people in their congregations. ISN'T that the point!!?? To know and be known by each other...to love one another.... Help and Grow and Learn from one another. Do we put them UP UP UP on a pedestal soooooo HIGH that we don't allow them to be who they are. Weaknesses and All.....Warts and ALL....They are Christ's too. Reaching toward the Goal like the rest of us.

I call to us all............BE REAL no matter where you are!! No matter who you are talking too!!! Just be real. Yes, it is scary...BUT SO IS LIVING A LIE!!

Real Friendship are grown in TRUTH and VULNERABILITY!!

F and L'er
Starla

Attitude and Attention

“And He called the people to [Him] again and said to them, Listen to Me, all of you, and understand [what I say]. There is not [even] one thing outside a man which by going into him can pollute and defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him and make him unhallowed and unclean. If any man has ears to hear, let him be listening [and let him perceive and comprehend by hearing].” Mark 7:14-16 AMP

Two things that come out of us that can pollute us are ATTITUDE and ATTENTION

Do we just give to much stinking ATTENTION to offenses, defenses, bad behaviors, upsets, hurts, feelings, thoughts??? I believe there is a time and a place to look at these things and deal with them approprietly. I  think by the time we are hyper-aware of them we are out of balance and start hobbling down the road with a flat and too much wieght on one wheel getting our rim all bent up.

The bible says ...great peace to those who love thy law and nothing shall offend thee....well what about when I dont have great peace because for the UM-TEENTH time I am offended by Mr. Dear Hubby who leaves all his mess for me to clean up. Tracks mud or whatever across that freshly mopped floor???

Could that problem lead straight from my ATTITUDE!!! They say to cultivate an attitude of gratitude ....
well how about teaching those men from the beginning to respect your work in the house as a wife and mom and women by checking those shoes before they come in....

Is it possible that the reason we dont have a positive attitude and we are hyper-aware in our attention to offense is that when we begin relationships ( or continue in relationships)  in any setting...be it romantic, friendship, business...we always try to put our so-called best self forward (that is wordage for not being real) we are overly obliging and overly understanding when the truth is if we would let others know truthfully and honestly from the beginning when things hurt us, bother us, annoy us....(we may learn faster from our own honesty as well , as to when we are out of balance --ie. when we are starting to get a flat --like really really just having a bad attitude) they would know the real us....not the painted face. 

Husbands would know from the beginning what will drive their wife crazy and they can avoid it....instead of this nice "ohhhhhhhhh thats ok hunny dont worry about it I will get it ..*wink and smile*" then 5 years later she is a raging mess of hot anger ready to FREAK OUT in her ATTITUDE AND ATTENTION...

So..the best remedy for not being POLLUTED from the inside out...is HONESTY!! is TRUTH

Stop lying to yourself and everyone else and you will probably stop being offended all the time

(disclaimer: people dont always like the truth so when you start being real ...it wont be peaches and cream....so try not to be offended by their anger that you are suddenly truthful, be real and keep your eyes of Jesus :0)

F & L'er
Starla

Monday Motto - Be Present

1 Thessalonians 5:6



So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.

Hello Starla here :0) Monday Motto for me today is BE PRESENT!!!

I am the type of person who is a bit dreamy, emotional, imaginative, self-aware and very bothered by upsetting emotional situations. In this past week or so I have endured some of those upsetting emotional situations. My problem is that I tend to CHECK OUT when these things happen. So much to the point that days go by and I have fully ordered my world, gone into full introvert mode, buckled down any emotional stray in my mind and imagine myself right into I AM FINE AND LIFE IS GOOD!!!  can anyone say : DENIAL!!!!

Does anyone else do this???

In this verse it says to BE ALERT ----to me that is STAY PRESENT ..stay with whats going on...deal with it until it is over...until it is no longer affecting me. Whether that means speak the truth, forgive offenders or confront the wrongness face to face. What ever IT is --BE PRESENT!!

but it also says : and.............SELF-CONTROLLED.

What I did is NOT self control!!! It is subconscious auto pilot take over...I ..ME...Mrs. suppose to be ALERT to what is going on because I read my bible and go to church ....is not in control of herself...FEAR is what is in control. I lose myself. I stop talking to people. I go into hiding. I don't want to feel all those negative emotions swirling around me. I don't want to have to be the big girl and say HEY!! that is not nice to act that way MR/MRS so and so....

So what I do instead is TURN ON MYSELF. I shut down and internalize it all. RESULT: ANXIETY!!

I am getting better and dealing with upsetting emo-roller coaster stuff. I hope to get to the point where I can SEE what I am doing as I begin to TURN OFF and instead TURN ON and work TRUTH. Truth makes a way for itself....and sometimes the one who speaks it isn't the most liked person. One thing I have learned (even though I am here again) is that if I stick with it - it is over way faster than if I ignore it.

So today's MOTTO : BE PRESENT --we may not always like the situations we are in but we can always learn from them if we are ALERT!! :0)

Thanks for listening ...

F & L'er
Starla