Opening

Why hadn’t I seen that the price of being safe — is the cost of being solitary? Why hadn’t I seen that distrust can destroy a life? ~ Ann Voskamp

Friendship is a laying bare open kind of thing unless you of course are like most of us women out here who hold the everyday kind of friend at arms length. Fears, mistrust, old thinking messages from days long gone still play, and sourness is sunk in deep.
I have wondered for many years why I liked to be so solitary within my own spirit and soul. I often thought of myself as a person who was open and willing to be vulnerable. I was a bit blind because I found out that while I may have spoke the truth of what I felt or knew within, I held my arms in a great stretch between me and another.
I was in a protective mode. Childhood and teenage dagger wounds in my heart where to fresh for me to move on. I wasn’t willing to be hurt….even though I was as touchy as porcupine. Hurting me was as easy as a heart beating. It just happened. I was a long been wounded soul looking for love with spikes on.
But being alone and being unknown was too much for me and I would guess it is also to much for you. So what do you do? YOU REACH OUT. Not to many and any but to one in particular. One you have a draw to. One God given friend. That is what happened to me. It is through this friendship that I have learned much about myself and her. It has been a friendship of depth. A friendship of asking what, when, where, and why --the hard questions. Lots of people don’t like this kind of heart digging…and I didn’t until I started to feel the pleasure of realness. The shiny polish of shallow acquaintance - arms length friendship - wore off and I yearned for deep fellowship.
Its not easy ….it requires a love of the truth and grace for another and yourself. We are a people of hiding. Like Adam and Eve in the garden with the fig leaves. We do the same thing. We hide and dodge throw up our defenses, blaming, and accusations. All of which I did and still do as I am working through the layers of my inner mind and heart.
None of this is even possible without Christ and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. His sacrifice has secured us the position and standing of righteous. So through that we can walk this truthful, real and open relationship out.  The Holy Spirit brings the understand through revelation, and for us these revelations have often come as we bare our scars and reveal our shadowy sides to each other.

Who can bear living the whole of their lives and never learn what it means to really be a friend?
~Ann Voskamp

Jesus calls us HIS FRIENDS. With Jesus I can tell Him anything and He loves me still. He knows my darkness, hurts, fears and dreams. He doesn’t use them against me, he uses them to heal me.  He encourages me as I am in His presence. He counsels me in His ways. He teaches me about myself and more importantly about how to be more like Him, and I believe that the more we are like Jesus the more we will be this kind of Friend.
STARLA
linking with:

 

The balance of Grace

Ok…

So I am listening to Lysa TerKurst and Ann Voskamp talk about their lives.

And Lysa says I get asked this question allot “How do you do your life? with many children, writing, speaking engagements and everything else too, how do you do it? How do you balance it?”

and the interviewer lady said :  Balance isn't real! right?

I listened a little further and I stopped the video and just sat with that thought …..(repeating it to myself  - BALANCE ISN’T REAL …

and at first I am thinking WHAT!!?? wait a minute!!

I need balance….if I don’t balance I will be off over here to long and miss this and that and what about….and all this stuff going off in my head.

and then I hear the Lord say “that is what my grace is for.”

My heart kind of sank …and I started to write this, because I feel that I understand myself and what I am learning better when I write it out.

If God’s grace is for our balance then all my striving to balance home, church, friends, family, laundry and dinner is for nothing!!

But If I am relying on my own strength then NO WONDER I am constantly straining myself to do better, organize, get it right, get it on the calendar. Perfect my inconsistencies and fix my “look” of laziness and craziness.

(Now there is nothing wrong with improving…what I am talking about a need for “balance” called PERFECTIONISM that causes you to think down if your stuff isn't done or will cause you to miss a God Appointment because you need to do that stuff. )

I know I am not the only one here!

The Key is Grace -like the gyroscope…I found this little diagram:

 

(source)

What is the ultimate GRACE --Christ who gave His life for us!

Romans 11:36 For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

If we keep our eyes on CHRIST in the center of it all….

( in the midst of all our mess, and issues, and timetables, and running errands  )

IF we keep our eyes on HIM…WE ARE BALANCED! (can you believe??)

When we Pray to the Father ( Output axis) and love others ( input axis) all while our eyes are fixed on Christ ( Spin Axis)

we walk in HIS WILL!!

How much more balanced could we be than in HIS WILL!!!

If Christ …If Grace is your Axis, MY AXIS - then I can allow myself to be IMPERFECT in His PERFECTNESS…I can allow myself to let go of the need to BALANCE LIFE….and instead LIVE IN GRACE!

I can do His will, as He asks and allow myself grace for the dishes not done because I am walking His way…and not mine.

BTW--  …Lysa said “ I DON’T!!” Balance is a slippery term :0) and Ann said “ Christ is our Axis, he is our balance point! :0)

Amen Girlfriends!

I get it! How do you feel about balance and are you trying to find it?

 

Friendship of Love,

Starla

Are we just trying to cope?

When we are competent -- we have sufficient skill to deal with situations.

When we are trying to COPE -- we are struggling.

When we are living in the COPE-TENT Our mind is camping in a difficult spot, we are struggling to survive but we are managing to get things dealt with...With our own knowledge, with our own skills and understanding.

BUT when we accept M into our midst and move from the cope-tent to coMpetent we find that we are suddenly properly qualified.

Why is that you ask?

Because the M is MESSIAH.

Hebrews 13:20-21 Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

When we receive Christ we don’t have to settle for coping with this life. We can become competent....we can become equipped for doing His will!!!

We COPE with situations by worry and fret, and trying to figure out what to do...

We  can become COMPETENT when we learn to cast our cares upon the Lord, to pray and trust that the Lord with bring the right thing at the right time to supply our needs.

Simply re-read those last two sentences and just FEEL how peaceful that second one is.... Jesus says my yoke is easy and my burden is light. With HIM it is not too difficult....With HIM we are qualified to do HIS WILL.

Rest your heart and mind in the Lord.

At the Rise and Shine Retreat Lysa Terkuest said (paraphrase and how I interpreted it) "Let those worries and fears that play in your mind over and over be a reminder to pray. When you pray ask Christ to be your portion for whatever is rolling over and over in your mind."

So if you are tired and hear yourself complain over and over in your mind : STOP and ask Christ to be your portion of energy to get through the day. If you are sad and down, catch those thought that say "I just cant do this anymore!" and STOP and ask CHRIST to be your portion of JOY today.

He will be that portion ...just as God sent a daily portion of manna to the children of Isreal...

Have Faith in CHRIST and let Him transform your cope to COMPETENT!!!

F & L'er
Starla