This is what you do – not so much to ‘get it right’ but instead to ‘keep it real’.
When it comes to my life, I seldom think about getting it right. I’m much more concerned with getting it REAL. That may sound like a meaningless distinction, but I assure you, it’s not.
If I’m worried about being ‘right’ – that usually means there’s a little shame somewhere in the mix. The desire to get it right implies there’s currently something wrong. Usually, it’s something wrong with me. And when I think there’s something wrong with me, that’s shame.
I used to always worry about doing the right thing – now I focus on doing the real thing. If I concern myself with realness, then the rightness usually follows. (So true that is!)
So what does that mean and how do I do it?
Being real means being as honest with yourself as possible. It means thinking your own true thoughts and feeling your own true feelings. It means functioning as an adult, and not coming from a place of ego or child or martyr or victim or any other of those ‘lesser’ parts of you. It means questioning yourself on a regular basis.
Being real starts with processing. It may mean writing out your thoughts and feelings on paper. Or, it could be done internally. For me, it just depends on how much ‘stuff’ I have to work out at the time. If there’s a lot of unresolved thoughts and feelings, then I’ll write it out. Otherwise, I just go through the thoughts and feelings inside myself – in my heart and mind.
And for me, processing is a never-ending activity. It’s not like I’ve outgrown it. I still do it. Whenever I get confused, or I have a tough decision to make, or I’m not sure how to proceed, or even when I just want to know myself better, I turn to processing. Sometimes I get out paper and pen, other times I work with it inside without writing anything down. It just depends.
So if you want to ‘get it right’ (meaning, ‘feel better’ or ‘get real’) then start by processing.
I read this article this morning and thought WOW there are some really good points here that were light bulb moments for me. I just had to share! = )
Happy Tuesday!
Tina
