You and Your Spouse are Unique

#1089   You and Your Spouse are Unique

Torah principles give us the wisdom and concepts that are needed for a harmonious marriage. But just knowing these ideas will not automatically guarantee a happy marriage. Torah ideas need to be internalized and practiced.

You have strengths and weaknesses, positive qualities and faults - and so does the person you marry. You have a unique life history; you came from a specific family - and so did your spouse. You have a unique genetic makeup, with a unique combination of intellect and emotions - and so does every other human being on our planet.

Your temperament, personality, communication style, and myriad other factors need to interact with the temperament, personality, and communication style of your spouse. This will inevitably create many challenges. Your response to these challenges will either create problems, pain, and quarrels... or will be the source of great spiritual and emotional elevation.

(From Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage" - Introduction, p.13)

See Rabbi Pliskin's new book "Life Is Now"

 

Trial run

A trial run...

 

You never know till you try!!

 

F & L'er

Starla

My Prayer

 

 

I asked for Strength and God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom and God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity and God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage and God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love and God gave me Troubled People to help.

I asked for Favor and God gave me Opportunities.

I got nothing I wanted, but I received everything I needed.

-- Author Unknown

Another way to look at challenges...had to share!

God Bless!  = )

It is NOT about being RIGHT its about being REAL...

This is what you do – not so much to ‘get it right’ but instead to ‘keep it real’.


When it comes to my life, I seldom think about getting it right. I’m much more concerned with getting it REAL. That may sound like a meaningless distinction, but I assure you, it’s not.



If I’m worried about being ‘right’ – that usually means there’s a little shame somewhere in the mix. The desire to get it right implies there’s currently something wrong. Usually, it’s something wrong with me. And when I think there’s something wrong with me, that’s shame.



I used to always worry about doing the right thing – now I focus on doing the real thing. If I concern myself with realness, then the rightness usually follows. (So true that is!)



So what does that mean and how do I do it?



Being real means being as honest with yourself as possible. It means thinking your own true thoughts and feeling your own true feelings. It means functioning as an adult, and not coming from a place of ego or child or martyr or victim or any other of those ‘lesser’ parts of you. It means questioning yourself on a regular basis.



Being real starts with processing. It may mean writing out your thoughts and feelings on paper. Or, it could be done internally. For me, it just depends on how much ‘stuff’ I have to work out at the time. If there’s a lot of unresolved thoughts and feelings, then I’ll write it out. Otherwise, I just go through the thoughts and feelings inside myself – in my heart and mind.



And for me, processing is a never-ending activity. It’s not like I’ve outgrown it. I still do it. Whenever I get confused, or I have a tough decision to make, or I’m not sure how to proceed, or even when I just want to know myself better, I turn to processing. Sometimes I get out paper and pen, other times I work with it inside without writing anything down. It just depends.



So if you want to ‘get it right’ (meaning, ‘feel better’ or ‘get real’) then start by processing.



I read this article this morning and thought WOW there are some really good points here that were light bulb moments for me. I just had to share! = )



Happy Tuesday!
Tina

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer
	God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr In loving memory of Fr Bertram Griffin -- 1932-2000 Requiescat in Pace
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

Unadulterated Living

ADULTERY ...

 

The word holds a terrible feeling and thoughts filled with guilt and shame and the act of cheating on your spouse. Cheating on one in whom you are suppose to love.

 

I have been reading in Proverbs 5 - the title of this section of reading in my bible is The Peril of Adultery.

 

Most the time I speed right through this section of reading....but this time it caught my eye.

 

Recently while reading I came across a line of thought that connected this passage in the bible for me more deeply.

 

It brought this passage to a different level  -- Adultery as it can be applied to the connection and communication of the soul and spirit within (this is the Truth in the spirit we have been given and the ability of the soul to thwart that) and how it affects the heart and mind within a person and its expression within and without. Do we cheat on ourselves???

 

QUOTE:

Every human being struggles with the power of truth, whether it is speaking the truth, honoring the truth, facing the truth, hearing the truth, or bearing witness to the truth. Truth is a deal-breaker and a game-changer in every aspect of life, but most certainly when it comes to relationships with others and even with how you talk to yourself. The truth is, the relationship you have with yourself is your "core" relationship from which all other relationships derive their position of health. If you are not honest with yourself, for example, you cannot be honest with another person. It is simply not possible. If you lie to yourself about anything, you can only lie to others. The lies you tell yourself are the lies you tell others. Someone who speaks the truth to him or herself will speak the truth to others.  - Myss

 

ok so....

 

 ^{Proverbs 5: 1} My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
      Lend your ear to my understanding,
       ² That you may preserve discretion,
      And your lips may keep knowledge.

 

Pay attention to my wisdom --I see wisdom as God's Word. We are to concentrate and consider what it is we are reading. This applied to the soul and spirit is knowing what your knower knows. Considering who you are, what you are about. What do you know about yourself. What you like and don't like. What causes you joy and pain. Knowing your TRUTH.

 

Lend you ear to my understanding --this is about listening and doing what He tells you within. This applied to soul and spirit is listening to what you know. Not silencing your inner voice and to be who you are without fear.

 

THEN IT SAYS : That you may (do those things above --so that you can ) preserve discretion!!

 

Preserve -- is to keep something alive or safe. It is to maintain it.

Discretion -- is the freedom to decide, to choose and make a judgment but it is also being careful about what you say and do.

 

 This is considering WHAT YOU KNOW about who and what you are and LISTENING instead of silencing that truth. This enables you to maintain the ability to make choices by being careful not to go against your truth.

 

And your lips may keep knowledge.

 

Keep Knowledge -- to obey, retain and take care of all that is known

 

This is to live life without selling yourself out (doing the opposite of who you are by people pleasing or attention seeking - sabotaging yourself) and becoming the ADULTERER to your own spirit by allowing your soul (the fickle feeler and worrier within) to silence your truth with reasons and excuses.

 

The next section of verses tells us about what this ADULTERER looks like and is.

 

Proverbs 5:³ For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
      And her mouth is smoother than oil;
       ⁴ But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
      Sharp as a two-edged sword.
       ⁵ Her feet go down to death,
      Her steps lay hold of hell.^[a]
        

Lips are IMMORAL ....not concerned with what is right ( what is true ) and is not Virtuous. This person sells themselves out and short. This is speaking against the truth you know for recognition, attention, or to be liked by others, feel secure, loved, needed...or whatever it is your soul thinks you need.

 

and notice these lips DRIP HONEY...sweet to the taste...reasoning that sounds good. Excuses that seem logical and right.

 

this mouth is SMOOTHER than OIL ...really slick. .... lying to ourselves with clever little deceptions. Telling ourselves things to make our faults look good in our own eyes. Fudge the truth to " look ' good to others.

 

When we do this it says THE END IS BITTER AS WORMWOOD. We are unsatisfied with where we are and what we are doing. We live an unpleasant inner world and we are walking out life in humiliations and painful experiences. Essentially we begin to become ashamed of ourselves for living the opposite of what we know.

 

and this end is also A TWO EDGE SWORD -- On one side we want people to like us and so we create this ME we think they will like. On the other side WE KNOW WHO WE ARE and WERE HIDING.

We are unstable and unhappy.  

 

Then it says your FEET (the way you are walking, living) is leading you to DEATH -- the spiritual side of you is WITHERING AWAY!!! and your steps LAY HOLD of HELL. You are grabbing onto HELL. ( misery and destruction)

 

BUT THANKFULLY we are also given the SOLUTION to this!!!

 

In the next set of verses it says not to depart from the words of HIS mouth (the knower who knows, the truth you have been given ..yet also are ever learning (don't want to get all legalistic here) and to remove yourself from her way ( don't entertain the souls anxieties and fears resulting in you being fake in word or deed ) and do not go near her door ( any opportunity to entertain this way of being...don't let it be an option) .....BECAUSE you will give your HONOR away to others.

 

HONOR is your ability to be honest in your beliefs and actions ....remember that saying : "My word is my Honor!" This reminds me of when we could say what we really think but out of fear or whatever reason we say what we think sounds good to someone else and we say that instead.... 

That is GIVING your HONOR away!

 

I think women are BAD at this and this is why we wake up one day wondering who we are, where we have been ....saying to ourselves "I feel LOST like I don't know who I am anymore!"

 

Going down some verses we come to DRINK FROM YOUR OWN CISTERN. ( Listen and Develop the knowing of your knower - spirit within. Get to know yourself. Find out who you are. Ask God to help you see who He created you to be. Learn where you stand. Develop what you think. How you feel about things. Read the WORD. Teach yourself and Listen to the Spirit of God within you. Become a self-explorer -- not so you can become selfish saying "well that is just how I am" The truth of Gods word, his ways and right way of living trump your "just how I am"...but the point is to learn to become true to God's expression of Himself through you. Study your true reflection of Christ. We are GOD water tank -the cistern of GOD. He created us to be the thing that allows springs of living water to flow through it.)

 

There is so much more from this chapter I could add ...but I think I will stop here

 

 LIVE UNADULTERATED !!!  ...you wont be sorry ...you may trip, mess up, forget who you are, become selfish time to time but if you listen for the voice of the Spirit of God to lead you...you will be pressing on toward the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus - Christ's reflection in the world.

 

F & L'er

Starla

 

Equipped for the Workplace

 

Equipped for the Workplace
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Tuesday, December 07 2010

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20 - Proverbs 13:12

Over 70 percent of our time is spent in a working environment, yet our training and teaching focuses on areas where we spend much less time. The workplace is the greatest mission field of our day, yet we do not train workplace believers how to effectively integrate their faith into their jobs. The wall between Sunday and Monday still exists. Most believers do not understand that all of life is spiritual, not just life on Sunday.

A recent study found that 50 percent of Christians have never heard a sermon on work; 70 percent have never been taught a theology of work; and 70 percent have never heard a sermon on vocation. Why do we focus on the fringes rather than the center where most people spend most of their time - the workplace?

God is removing the wall of separation by speaking to pastors and workplace believers all over the world. A pastor recently shared how his church ordains their workplace believers for their calling to the workplace. Another pastor described their church's commitment to integrating training for their workplace believers on the theology of work. Another told how they began a workplace ministry within their church for their workplace believers, and even integrated Sunday school programs specifically geared to help workplace believers understand their calling in the workplace.

We are entering a new era in the Church when workplace believers are seen as a remnant of the Body of Christ who need to be mobilized and trained for the work of the ministry to their own mission field-the workplace. Are you one of the men and women God is raising up for this task? Pray that God will help pastors understand and affirm this calling, and that they will respond by training the people of their churches for their own ministry to the workplace. When we reclaim the 70 percent, the remainder will be reclaimed automatically.




Repost today's TGIF:

 

Obstacles Are good for you...?

• DAILY LIFT
• TODAY IN JEWISH HISTORY
• GROWING EACH DAY

#1075   Obstacles Add to Your Pleasure

Pleasure comes from filling a need. A person is in a state of deficiency most of his life and focuses on obtaining that which he is lacking. At times, great obstacles prevent a person from meeting those needs. The more obstacles that arise, the more a person feels the void of what he is missing.

Eventually, when that need is met, the pleasure of obtaining is in proportion to the difficulty he previously experienced. When you obtain what you want without running up against obstacles, your pleasure is limited.

(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.3, pp.180-2; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")

See Rabbi Pliskin's new book "Life Is Now"

 

A Christian Woman and Jewish Woman Appointed to Bahrain Parliament

 

 

A Christian Woman and Jewish Woman Appointed to Bahrain Parliament

Teresa Neumann (December 7, 2010)

"There are approximately 1,000 Christians in Bahrain."

(Bahrain)—Israel National News reports that the King of Bahrain, Hamad ibn Isa Al Khalifa, has appointed a Jewish woman and a Christian woman to the nation's 40-member lower chamber of parliament. (Photo: King Hamad/Arutz Sheva)

The report notes that the new Jewish member of the house, Nancy Khadhori, will replace a prior Jewish member, Huda Nono, who left to become Bahrain's first female Jewish Ambassador to the United States.

"I am very happy to receive the royal trust," Khadori said in a statement to the media. "I hope I will be up to the responsibility."

According to the report, Hala Qarrisah, the new Christian female member, took the place of fellow Christian Alice Samaan, who had served as deputy head of the Council.

Source: Chana Ya'ar - Israel National News

Consider Humility

I love these daily lifts!  They get me thinking & searching within...so helpful it is for improving self  = () P  I know I need it.  Self improvement is contagious!  Make what you got to give worth catching & God Bless!

#1074   Consider Humility

Arrogance can be the source of two opposite ways of behaving. Some people have such a high opinion of themselves that want nothing else to do with other people. Alternatively, there are those whose arrogance leads them to want power and control over others.

The opposite of arrogance is humility. Humility is the awareness that everything we have is a gift, and that other people are equally important.

Today, contemplate humility for at least five minutes. In what ways would your life be enhanced if you had more humility?

(see Vilna Gaon - Proverbs 8:13; Rabbi Pliskin - "Consulting the Wise")

See Rabbi Pliskin's new book "Life Is Now"

AFTER A WHILE

I found a wonderful poem that I want to share ...

 

After a While

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child
And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

 

Be Strong On The Inside !!

 

F & L'er

Starla

I found a funny & wanted to share it = )

MountainWings A MountainWings Moment

#10335 Wings Over The Mountains of Life

-------------------------------------------------

10 Reasons why God created Eve

===============================

10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions.

9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote.

(Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)

8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.

7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.

5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.

4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.

3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident and for anything else that was really his fault.

2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone."

1. And the No. 1 reason of all

[Tada, drum roll, fanfare, etc.]

God stepped back, looked at Adam and declared:

"I can do better than that."

MountainWings Note: I don't know who wrote this, but I don't think this joke was written by a man.

Happy Wednesday to YOU! = )