Monday Motto : Stay Connected
Proverbs 18:1 He who willfully separates himself and estranges himself (from God and man) seeks his own desire and pretext to break out against all wise and sound judgment.
I read this verse and it just caught my eye.
Considering the fact that I am the type of person who is melancholy and a bit on the introverted side, I am one who willfully separates when I am hurt, angry, or upset in anyway. I have a habit of auto-isolation. I don’t want to be that way, But I am. I struggle with it. Pray for me!
It takes me great effort to reach out. I naturally want others to believe that I am GOOD! Well guess what I am learning....they can see that I AM NOT FINE!!! They can feel my vibe when I walk into church that I AM NOT GOOD! But nonetheless I keep up this idea for myself and my own so called sanity ... that I am good!!!
so lets bite into this and see what it is made of....
willfully separates --that means purposely disconnect myself from other people
and estranges -- that means to turn away from, keep at a distance and treat others like strangers
seeks his own desire -- wanting what I want when I want it ( example --I'm mad and I will only become happy when so and so does what makes me happy)
and pretext --that means to conceal the true purpose, to put up a misleading appearance ( example --Im fine!! *smile* when inside I am angry, hurt and need prayer but I am being willful and seeking my own way)
and all that is just NOT WISE
On the surface this may not seem like that big of a deal --besides we don’t want the whole world to know our business right??
The problem is that doing this is actually a prideful my way or the highway kind of attitude.
I am sooooooo busted!!!! The WORD tends to do that !! huh??
A few years ago ...heck a couple of months ago I would not have written such a lay me open kind of blog post...but I believe that Friendships of Love is about KNOW, SHARE, SERVE. It is getting to KNOW others, to SHARE who I truly am, and finding a way to SERVE each other through that knowledge.
This past week I was able to SEE myself in the moment and say I am ALRIGHT with a shrug of NO IM NOT to my Pastor. ( I know! - not the best but I mustered a little reality there ..come on gimme some credit ..lol) He had a great sentence to share at that moment that caused changes for me that week that I needed...if I would have pasted my smile on and went the --I'M GOOD *smile* way --I would still be in this same spot not dealing with any of it and continuing my willful way. Now I am a few more inches further than I was last week and seeking answers and being honest about where I am.
How many times have I not done that and missed out on having people lift me up in prayer...LORD knows I need it!! Stay Connected because we need truth and we need people.
Hmmmmmm seems that I sort of did a continuation of last weeks post Be Present ...
Thanks for listening
F & L'er
Starla
