July 12, 2010

Monday Motto - Be Present


1 Thessalonians 5:6



So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.

Hello Starla here :0) Monday Motto for me today is BE PRESENT!!!

I am the type of person who is a bit dreamy, emotional, imaginative, self-aware and very bothered by upsetting emotional situations. In this past week or so I have endured some of those upsetting emotional situations. My problem is that I tend to CHECK OUT when these things happen. So much to the point that days go by and I have fully ordered my world, gone into full introvert mode, buckled down any emotional stray in my mind and imagine myself right into I AM FINE AND LIFE IS GOOD!!!  can anyone say : DENIAL!!!!

Does anyone else do this???

In this verse it says to BE ALERT ----to me that is STAY PRESENT ..stay with whats going on...deal with it until it is over...until it is no longer affecting me. Whether that means speak the truth, forgive offenders or confront the wrongness face to face. What ever IT is --BE PRESENT!!

but it also says : and.............SELF-CONTROLLED.

What I did is NOT self control!!! It is subconscious auto pilot take over...I ..ME...Mrs. suppose to be ALERT to what is going on because I read my bible and go to church ....is not in control of herself...FEAR is what is in control. I lose myself. I stop talking to people. I go into hiding. I don't want to feel all those negative emotions swirling around me. I don't want to have to be the big girl and say HEY!! that is not nice to act that way MR/MRS so and so....

So what I do instead is TURN ON MYSELF. I shut down and internalize it all. RESULT: ANXIETY!!

I am getting better and dealing with upsetting emo-roller coaster stuff. I hope to get to the point where I can SEE what I am doing as I begin to TURN OFF and instead TURN ON and work TRUTH. Truth makes a way for itself....and sometimes the one who speaks it isn't the most liked person. One thing I have learned (even though I am here again) is that if I stick with it - it is over way faster than if I ignore it.

So today's MOTTO : BE PRESENT --we may not always like the situations we are in but we can always learn from them if we are ALERT!! :0)

Thanks for listening ...

F & L'er
Starla

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