The Hard Things - Me and My not so honest TRUTHFULLNESS!! My most vulnerable post yet....

Satan loves to destroy, which involves a re-scrambling of destroy. He attempts to de-story us, to rob us of our story of victory. ~ Mary Demuth


I read this, this morning on Mary Demuth's facebook page. It hit me like a ton of bricks....

I do not want to be one who the enemy de-stories....so I write

The Hard things

Who really wants to say the HARD THINGS?

Have you ever found that it is easy to say the HARD things when you are angry???

Sure...when you are in the midst of the grip of anger, you can say anything....RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRR!

But is it BENEFICIAL being said that way?? Probably not!! Not in HUMAN ANGER anyway.
(maybe if I can do it like Jesus...flip those money changer tables over..huh??)

To say the HARD THINGS when you know its that right thing to do....

To say them when you fear they may not be received well...

NOW that is NOT EASY!!

Sometimes it just seems easier to stuff it....you know?? (*people pleasing)

Act like it really doesn’t bother you....play it off as " yeah whatever!" (*denial)

But the things that really matter to us that we just let slide......just plain HURT! ( and they fester...)

It is one thing to overlook an offense...it is another thing all together to live amongst repeat offenders and there be no repercussions for behavior.

Is it not true that you teach people how to treat you?? also how you treat people will come back to you ..you reap what you sow...slipper slope eh?

Living silently or blindly doesn’t make it easier, it makes it worse over the long run....

All those things that clamor for attention and excuses as to why you shouldn’t say anything...."that's mean"..."its not loving or patient"..."if you are just kind enough, good enough, blah blah blah enough"....

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!

How about the TRUTH is ENOUGH to bring real change, understanding and revelation!!??

I choose to say the hard things....in love.

Ephesians 4:13-15 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, BUT, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—

See God wants us to COME TO UNITY ...and we can not do that without talking straight to each other or to ourselves.

He says we should no longer be children...what do children do when they are confronted...they make excuses...say I don’t know....and sometimes when they are busted they get mad and blame you and/or others.

Sound familiar ..grown ups???

He says don’t be duped by trickery and craftiness.... what is that suppose to mean???

It means don’t fall for the phony baloney that tries to derail truth. Don’t get your brain all wrapped up in the JUNK that your mind (and others) will tell you to keep you from speaking the truth!!!!

This verse says : BUT speaking the truth in love. WHY???

So you can GROW UP. (BUT, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—)

I am a big advocate for speaking the truth...being real...I post it here...I post it at Stars Rain...I post it on my Facebook page. I even wrote a book about it called The Struggle to be Myself and the reasons why we fear to be who we are. I barely scratched the surface then...

SPEAKING THE TRUTH -- IT IS MY GREATEST STRUGGLE!!!!!

I am the type who tends to not be completely honest because when I become self conscious I get all wrapped up and preoccupied with my own personality making me uneasy and embarrassed to be me. So I create a me that I think others will like but I just come off as artificial and fake....and unhappy.

I work on it every day...sometimes I fail...sometime I succeed.

I want my LORD to be proud of me...

My childhood brought me some hard knocks when it come to being truthful. For my survival I decided as a kid it was easier to be half-truthful. I don’t want to have those tapes playing in my mind anymore. I don’t want to continue listening to the lies of the enemy tell me I am not worth listening to, no one will believe you if you did tell the truth.

So I am 33 .......and I struggle with telling the truth........ in the HARD THINGS.
(Giving a factual account of things is easy....relating that deep and secret place in my heart that cries out for release is another thing.)

When I start to speak the HARD THINGS if I even slightly perceive that someone is not hearing me I get SO MAD! My anger wells up from a deep sense of worthlessness and pain, and the fear that I am not good enough that I have carried and struggled with since I was a kid....and I lash out in anger.
(I well up with tears just thinking of and acknowledging that heartbroken and verbally beaten down child in me)

TODAY I said NO MORE!!!

TODAY I stood up once again like I did as a kid that day I was broken and I spoke the TRUTH without fear...without anger....without being defeated by the enemy....without defensiveness.

And guess what??

I didn’t get all the whooo hooo's and hip hip hoorays...nor did I "feeeeeeeel" like I was completely heard.

BUT I STOOD ON THE TRUTH!!!

I SPOKE UP....

and that my friends is VICTORY in itself!!

1 Corinthians 15:57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ( Jesus is the TRUTH )

Speak truth ...Live truth...Be truth ...AMEN!!

( So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41: 10)

I received that verse from Rise and Shine Retreat....I welled up with tears when I got it...I didn’t realize then what that was going to mean to me!! Thank you R&S Retreat! I am sure it has much more for me to unearth.

Above in this post I said the words : is it beneficial...the ladies at Rise and Shine Retreat prayed over all of us that were attending a fruit of the spirit and mine was GOODNESS which is Doing what is Beneficial!!

I am finding that no matter how hard it is...how bad I want to hide....how much I want to run...

To speak truth and live truth and be truthful even in the HARD THINGS ....is living GOODNESS!

Pray for me my struggle is not over....I thank you in advance :0)

One more thing...if it were not for God sending me my own personal angel to walk with me...when I had thought I would never make it through these tough mountains...she has been my own personal trainer in TRUTH...Thank you Tina...you are one in a million GIRL!!!

F & L'er
Starla